


The Ghost of Christmas “get it together you idiots!”

by Neeka



Category: The Walking Dead & Related Fandoms, The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Accidental Domesticity, Domestic, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Huddling For Warmth, Hurt/Comfort, It just kind of happened, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining, Nightmares, Oblivious, Pining, Trapped In A Closet, Winter Time, brief mentions of past abuse, fears
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-21
Updated: 2017-12-29
Packaged: 2019-02-18 05:08:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13093047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neeka/pseuds/Neeka
Summary: How two oblivious, pining idiots finally get together. With a little help...





	1. Chapter 1

“I can’t stand this anymore Maggie, I really can’t. Do _not_ make me work with them again, I won’t be held responsible for my actions if you do.”

“Tara, do you know how many people have told me that recently?”

“I don’t care, I just know I’m not even remotely strong enough to cope with that shit anymore.”

Maggie just patted her shoulder, smiling in commiseration. What she’d told Tara was true; pretty much the whole of Hilltop and most of Alexandria had reached the point of utter despair with the oblivious, pining, unintentionally sappy duo that was Daryl and Jesus.

It wasn’t so bad at first, amusing even. Maggie actually found it sweet for a while too; so overcome with relief to see someone help Daryl begin to get over the laundry list of traumas he’d suffered, just as much as she was to see Jesus realise he actually _could_ get close to someone, that it might be worth it after all.

But as months and months rolled on, it started to grate on her. Surely one of them would say something, make some kind of move? It was startlingly obvious that each of them were head over heels for the other but it was _also_ startlingly obvious that neither realised the other one felt the same. Soon it moved from infuriating to downright unbearable.

“I shit you not, I actually caught Daryl in the kitchens the other night making Jesus dinner because he’d missed it and there was nothing but, and I quote, “fuckin’ protein bars tha’ ain’ no use to no one. Needs somethin’ warm after bein’ out all day.” He risked the wrath of _Martha_ to make him rabbit stew Maggie.”

Both Maggie and Aaron groaned at her words. God this was getting out of hand now.

Enid poked her head up from where she was sat playing with Hershel and Gracie on the floor of Maggie’s room. “That’s nothing. I saw Jesus walk into a door the other day. _Jesus_. He’s got more grace than a cat but apparently the sight of Daryl lifting heavy boxes onto high shelves in pantries makes him forget how his feet work. It was pathetic.”

Tara just rubbed her forehead, obviously tired with the post-apocalyptic rom com they were all trapped in.

“You know I actually asked Alex for advice the other day? That’s how desperate I am now.”

The ladies all winced at Aaron’s words and the underlying tone of someone infinitely disturbed by whatever that conversation contained.

“Turns out Jesus is usually _never_ this pathetic when he’s after someone. I found out some things I really did not need to know about how good his game is. Let’s just say there are places in Hilltop I never want to enter again and I can still barely look Jesus in the eyes.”

Definitely not wanting to dwell on that any longer, Maggie just shook her head. “This has to stop. They’re obviously not going to sort it out for themselves and at this point I’m half expecting a petition to relocate Hilltop whilst the two of them are on their run tomorrow. We need to do something.”

“Yeah but _what_ ,” moaned Tara. “We’ve all tried subtly talking to them but it just rolls off their shields of wilful ignorance and low self worth.”

They all went quiet for a moment, thinking of possible solutions in a more direct manner. Maggie just let out a quiet chuckle. “Ya know, I’m sure Glenn would have just locked them in a room together till they sorted it out.”

They all smiled, the sorrow of his loss still strong and his bright presence missed every day. It still hurt every time Maggie spoke of him but it was almost a good hurt now, like pressing a healing bruise. She’d found that she _needed_ to talk about him, he’d be gone for good if she didn’t.

Conversation coming to a close for now, Maggie, Tara, Aaron and Enid spent the rest of the evening playing with the two little darlings they were lucky enough to have in their lives, even if they came about in tragedy.

Hilltop was cloaked in the dark and cold, deep in the throws of winter, but inside Maggie’s room in Barrington house, there was only the warmth of friends and the memory of two people who had been loved more than words could say.

Maggie could only hope that the two men in the trailer outside would get to share that same love. It didn’t come along every day after all.


	2. Chapter 2

“Is that coffee? The hell dya manage to find tha’?”

Jesus just grinned, eyes twinkling as Daryl took the mug like it alone held the meaning of life.

“Magic of course.”

Daryl stared at him over the top of it, letting the smell of the drink remind him he was in fact, human.

“Okay, fine, I may have broken into the pantry to get it, do _not_ tell Wes.”

Daryl grinned, taking a big scalding sip and wishing he could do just that. He didn’t like the way the other man treated Paul. “Take whatever the hell ya like from him, he’s a asshole.”

Paul just scoffed as usual, dropping into the chair opposite Daryl with a graceful slump. “Oh come on, he’s not that bad. Well, not _now_ anyways...”

He shot Daryl a knowing look, rolling his eyes when he just shrugged innocently in response. Yes he may have had words with the man at some point that could _potentially_ be described as threatening, but some people just needed to be shown the lay of the land and Daryl was certainly happy to do it.

“Well thanks, ain’t had coffee in a while, used to love the shit.”

Paul nodded in agreement. “Yeah same, was addicted to the stuff. Way more sugar than that though.”

His words made Daryl frown, looking for Paul’s own mug and not seeing one. “Did you get yaself some?”

“Err no, didn’t want to chance Wes noticing some missing, it’s his own hidden supply. I’m surprised he hadn’t marked the amount in the jar and the dates of each use to be honest.”

Well that wasn’t right. Daryl took another sip and slid the mug over the table to Paul. “Here, have the rest.”

Paul just looked up confused, pushing it back. “What? No way, I got it for you.”

“Oh for fucks sake fine, we’ll share then, good Lord.”

So they did, enjoying the early dawn light coming through the window of their trailer, sliding a mug of coffee between the two of them and enjoying the peace of each other’s company before they had to get going on their run. And if Daryl took a sip from the exact same spot that Paul did every now and then, well, that was his business.

Once done, they spent the next ten minutes throwing things back and forth as they moved through the trailer packing their things for the run. It was instinctual by now, the way they worked so well together, everything just flowing without thought.

Soon, they were leaving the relative warmth of the trailer and walking out into the freezing early morning. Before Paul could even begin to check his pockets, Daryl held out the fur lined leather gloves he’d found on the last run.

“You’d left ‘em on ya damn bed _again_. Need to stop sleepin’ in em man, ‘s just weird.”

Taking them gratefully and tugging them on, Paul flipped Daryl the bird. “Hey, I get cold easily! Not all of us are walking heaters.”

Daryl just rolled his eyes but he had to admit, if only to himself, the sight of Paul curled up asleep in as many layers as he could find and practically smothered in blankets until only the tiniest bit of his face and head could be seen, was pretty damn cute. Pathetic, but cute.

“Fuckin’ wimp, get in the damn car.”

Unknown to them, Kal and Dante were just looking at each other and rolling their eyes, before they opened the gate and waved the two out.

\- - -

“...so then _another_ one comes out, this one in fishnet stockings and a clear pvc corset! I have honestly never been more terrified and amused in my life than I was then!”

“Bullshit, no way, don’ believe you.”

“On my life Daryl, I swear to you! Luckily one still had a ball gag in, so he wasn’t much risk.”

Daryl just shook his head in disbelief, laughing despite himself at Paul’s story of having to fight off five walkers in various fetish outfits during one of his early solo trips to the city. Whether it was true or not, the thought of Paul’s horrified face as he had to knife decaying bodies in gimp suits and see through underwear, was worth humouring one of his favourite games on car trips; weirdest walkers and wackiest kills.

“So go on, I dare you to beat that. Come on, I’m waiting! No? Ha! Fork it over!”

With some fake grumbles, Daryl handed over the last of Carol’s cookies from her visit, watching as Paul crammed it in his mouth in one go, cheeks puffing out and eyes glinting with happiness.

“Damn chipmunk.”

They were silent for a little bit after that, just enjoying the scenery and the trip. This was one of Daryl’s favourite things to do; just take off with Paul on scouting or scavenging trips, nobody else to bother them. Though in fairness, there was very little Daryl didn’t enjoy when Paul was with him.

There was just something about the other man that had drawn him in since the very first time they met, but Daryl could never have imagined how important a guy calling himself _Jesus_ would end up becoming to him. From the beginning, it seemed like they were always meant to end up in each other’s orbits.

Sneaking a look to the side, Daryl studied Paul’s face; relaxed and content as he drove, the morning light and wintery surroundings making him almost fucking _glow_.

It was still hard to believe that Daryl had been lucky enough to meet someone who had risked his life for him so many times, too many damn times really; whether it was staying behind to help him get out of the Sanctuary or by watching his reckless, self destructive back during their last battle with Negan. And more than that, someone who helped him feel human again once it was all over, the communities settling down and beginning to make a real go over not just surviving, but _living_.

As much as he adored each and every member of his family, Daryl didn’t think he could have done that without Paul.

Two hours or so later, they arrived at the little town Paul had seen on the map but not yet checked out. They drove slowly passed the houses and towards the centre where some shops should be, wanting to hit the big targets first and sweep the houses on their way back through. Sure enough, the Main Street was full of small shops and food joints that seemed relatively undamaged and hopefully, not too ransacked.

They parked in the middle of the strip, wanting the car close enough to escape in from whichever direction should trouble arise, before grabbing their bags and jumping out into the freezing winter air.

“Well Daryl,” Paul began, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a rumpled piece of paper. “I hope you brought your wallet coz I’ve got one hell of a shopping list here.”

Walking over, he leaned around to read the list and whistled. “Damn, they best take credit, ya bleedin’ me dry.”

With a grin that always managed to warm Daryl up no matter the weather, Paul headed towards their first stop, gracefully knifing a half frozen walker ambling towards them. Slowly and methodically, the duo made their way through each shop. Though it was obvious people had already been through and took things, it was surprisingly profitable.

They had to make a few trips back to the car to drop off their hauls; finding tins of food, some hardware and garden items, a bunch of thick hunting jackets and other warm things, some useful kitchen utensils and, much to Daryl’s delight, some children’s toys and books. The latter made Paul laugh, accusing him of spoiling Hershel, Gracie and Judith too much.

“Nearly Christmas ain’ it?”

“Shit yeah you’re right actually. On you go then Saint Nick.”

All in all, it was a very successful trip, both of them deciding to call it a day with the shops and just hit the houses quickly. The weather was turning again, more snow coming down and the wind picking up, the temperature seeming to drop even more to Paul’s displeasure. They got back in the car and began to move off when Daryl caught sight of something out of the corner of his eye.

“Hang on, stop a sec. There’s a pharmacy there.”

“What, where?”

Daryl pointed to a small building almost hidden by two taller ones, easily overlooked especially with snow coming down.

“Nice find mister Dixon. I know the weather’s getting bad but we really should check that out. Could find something important.”

Daryl nodded in agreement, grabbing his bag as Paul pulled up outside. Though there wasn’t anything specific on the list, they both knew the kinds of things that were always needed and it’d be good to see how much was left, maybe they could get a better idea from Carson and come back.

The glass in the windows was still intact so they banged on it a few times and waited for a moment, entering slowly and carefully once no walkers appeared. There wasn’t too much left on the shelves but they still managed to bag various toiletries, baby wipes, some cold and flu medicine, allergy tablets and vitamins. Not great but still worth grabbing on their way to the real drugs that were hopefully still behind the counter.

Unfortunately, as always, this was the first thing people raided; nothing left but a few bottles that they grabbed anyway, hoping Carson would have some use for them. They were just about to leave when Paul pulled him back.

“There’s a door back there, want to try it out? Could be a storeroom?”

They might as well, and like Daryl, Paul never liked to leave a stone unturned. Knocking on the door again, they pulled it open, finding it unlocked. The room behind it was bigger than first thought and pitch black, but once Paul pulled out his torch, they saw it was full of boxes.

With a hopeful smile, Paul walked in and headed straight for the largest ones by the back wall, Daryl hanging back to sweep the shelves on the left side. To their delight, although the boxes weren’t full by any means, there were indeed some far more useful drugs in them.

“Ha! Knew this was a good idea.”

Well, it _was_. Right until the door swung shut behind them with a heavy bang.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this chapter, drop me a line if you did :) xxxx


	3. Chapter 3

“Fuck.”

Paul shone the light towards Daryl, watching as he moved towards the door, not worrying too much since there hadn’t been a lock on the outside and there should be _no_ _reason_ for it not to open.

But as he watched Daryl fail to open the door, jiggling the handle over and over, even throwing his shoulder against it, a stone settled in his stomach.

“Err Daryl, you are fucking with me right?”

Trying one last time, the other man turned back to him and shrugged. “‘fraid not, door won’t budge.”

“Yeah I saw that thanks! How though? There wasn’t even a lock outside!”

Paul rushed over to try the door himself, feeling that old familiar sick twist in his stomach as he couldn’t get it open, kicking it in frustration.

“Hey chill out, it’s just jammed or somethin’. Door don’ exactly look new and with the cold weather, it probably just got stuck.”

“Well can you unstick it?!”

In the thin light of the torch, he could see Daryl frown. “You doin’ okay?”

Taking a deep breath, Paul nodded, pasting his usual calm face on with admittedly less ease than usual.

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine. Just want to know if we can get out is all.”

Daryl just nodded, turning back to the door and putting his ear to it for some reason. “Yeah we can get out, just might not be now. Hear tha’? The storm’s hit.”

Now that he mentioned it, Paul could hear it; a howling wind blowing away outside. He could practically feel the even colder air seeping under the door and making him shiver.

“If it’s the cold that’s makin’ it stick, then the storm ain’ gonna help. Plus, we best not drive back in this so even if we get out, we jus’ gotta find somewhere else to wait it out. Might as well stay here.”

That was hardly the thing Paul had been wanting to hear but he wasn’t about to let Daryl know that, just nodding instead. His jaw felt about as stuck as the door.

Paul stayed glued to the spot as Daryl brushed past him, moving to the back of the room and beginning to build boxes up around a little space.

“Stop standin’ around an come help me.”

Forcing himself to move, Paul joined Daryl, the sight of him looking relaxed as he stacked up boxes helping him calm down slightly.

“If you like building forts Daryl, we can always do that in the trailer. Get some big blankets and pillows, tell ghost stories.”

“Fuck you, I’m tryin’ to block as much wind coming through as possible. Don’ wanna hear your bitchin’ all night.”

If a half empty box just _happened_ to fall onto Daryl’s head, well, Paul had nothing to do with it.

A few minutes later, they had a pretty decent shelter going on. It’d still be cold as fuck all night, but at least it blocked any of the freezing wind making it’s way under the door. They both grabbed their packs and squished in together; it was surprisingly nice actually, feeling the heat of Daryl seeping through his clothes from where they were pressed together. Having the other man so close, so obviously calm, helped Paul relax a bit. If Daryl wasn’t worried then obviously there was nothing for him to worry about.

“If someone finds that car before we get out, I will not be pleased,” Paul grumbled, trying to get comfortable on the cold concrete floor.

“Yeah, nothin’ worse than doin’ all the hard work and someone comin’ out of nowhere to steal it...”

“Mister Dixon, are you still sore that I got the drop on you?”

“No, you got thrown off the damn roof and knocked out by a door.”

“Yeah because some asshole in a vest kept chasing me around a field!”

They both broke off with a grin, the argument an old one between them, constantly being brought out when one of them fucked up.

“It’s err, it’s funny how we met right?” Paul began hesitantly. “If any of us had made different decisions, we might not have.”

It was a tragic thought really, one Paul only ever thought about when he was feeling... off, vulnerable. It was far too telling.

“Nah, we’d have met at some point.”

“Yeah you’re probably right, the Hilltop isn’t too far from Alexandria after all.” Paul shrugged, feeling silly and wishing he’d never brought it up.

Daryl was quiet for a moment, looking down at his hands. “Think we’d have met even if it was. Couldn’ imagine not knowin’ ya.”

Paul’s heart stuttered in his chest. Daryl always had a gift for saying things that shot right through him, not having any idea what it did to him, how it could make him happier than anything whilst also breaking his heart.

He’d felt a lot of pain in his life, both physical and emotional, but nothing quite measured up to being in love with someone who would never love you back. But Daryl was right, he couldn’t imagine anything else.

Smiling fondly, he just nudged Daryl with his shoulder, leaning in as much as he dared.

“Yeah, me neither.”

They were quiet for a little while after that, sharing an apple Paul had in his pack, just listening to each other breathe and the howling storm outside. The faint light that had been coming through the gap in the door had faded totally, only the little torch illuminating the room. It made it seem even colder, darker and smaller than it was.

“You okay man? You’re like, shakin’ an shit.”

Paul had hardly noticed, too stuck in his own head. “Err yeah, just cold to be honest.”

Daryl just looked at him for a moment, eyes narrowing before he started to move, kneeling up and shoving both their bags outside of their little fort and poking Paul until he got out too.

“What’re you doing?”

“Trying to stop ya becomin’ a holy ice cube. Pass me them empty boxes”

Paul did as he was told, watching as Daryl ripped them open and placed them down flat on the concrete floor before taking off his jacket. Even in the faint torch light, Paul could still see the slight blush on his face.

“Erm, take ya coat off an get in here. Ain’ gonna do much but it’s better than nothin’.”

If it was what Paul thought, it would _definitely_ be better than nothing. With a grin that hopefully distracted from his own red face, he shrugged off his long duster, immediately shivering at the cold air.

“Fuuuck that’s cold.”

“Well stop bitchin’ and come lie down.”

“I knew it, you’re trying to spoon with me.”

“I could jus’ let ya freeze, that’d be fine too.”

Stomach turning over, Paul just bundled up his coat and flopped down into the space next to Daryl, both of them lying on their backs and staring up, not entirely sure where to go from there. But as another shudder ran through him, Daryl moved, prodding Paul in the side.

“Righ’ err, roll on your side then.”

“How come I’m the little spoon?”

“Coz you’re the cold one. An’ you’re short.”

“Fuck you.”

Their usual teasing seemed to relax them both. Paul rolled over onto his side and was eternally grateful that Daryl couldn’t see his face when his coat was spread over him and a warm body pressed up behind him, an arm settling hesitantly over his waist.

Despite the situation they were in, Paul didn’t think he’d ever felt anything as nice.

With a muffled sigh, he relaxed back into Daryl, feeling the other man shift closer. It was so perfect it was almost torture, almost cruel; to give him the smallest taste of what this could be like, only for him to know that unless they made a habit of getting caught out in the cold, it was the one and only time he’d feel it.

“Thanks Daryl.”

“Yeah yeah, move ya damn hair, shut the fuck up an’ get some damn sleep.”

Well, if this was it, he’d damn well enjoy it and suffer the withdrawals later

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good old huddling for warmth trope eh?? Can’t beat it, especially around this time of year :) hope you enjoyed it! Comments are love, comments are life! And if anyone has any other Desus prompts, just hit me up :D xxxx


	4. Chapter 4

It took Daryl far too long to follow Paul into sleep. It was almost masochistic; staying awake as long as possible just to get to feel this a little longer, to tighten his arm around the other man and feel his heartbeat, to press his face closer to the warm skin at the nape of his neck.

He didn’t want to fall asleep because when he woke up, it’d all be over; they’d separate and their lives would go on as before, like this wasn’t the best thing he’d ever felt. Daryl didn’t want to pretend like it meant nothing to him when it did, it meant _everything_.

He was drifting for a while, committing everything to memory and trying to ignore how badly his chest hurt, when he felt something change. Paul was twitching slightly, muscles going tense and a few quiet, unhappy mumbles leaving him before he fell still again. Daryl would have relaxed if he couldn’t feel the way Paul’s heart was pounding under his hand.

Nobody slept well anymore, pretty much everyone would wake up with nightmarish horrors dogging their heels every now and then. But even though he’d been living in his trailer for a long time now, Daryl had never noticed if Paul did.

He felt a sharp kick to his shin as Paul started moving around, shaking and trying to twist away. Daryl had no idea what to do, whether to wake him or leave him alone, to try and comfort him or back off.

“Nono no let me _out_!”

Paul’s panicked mumbles jolted him into action. “Hey man, wake up, come on.”

Daryl gently shook his shoulder. Wrong move. An elbow made sharp contact with his chest as Paul jolted up and away, knocking into a stack of boxes and sending them falling all over the floor. But it was the look on his face that really sent a dagger through Daryl; Paul was scared, eyes darting all over the dark room, no recognition there as his breath came too fast.

“Paul, hey, over here. Look at me, ’s okay. You’re fine, I promise. Jus’ a nightmare yeah?”

Daryl tried to keep his voice calm and even, like Paul did for him when he woke up with the phantoms of his dreams still chasing him. It seemed to work, Paul’s head swinging in his direction, finally figuring out where he was before slumping down and running a hand through his hair.

“Fuck.”

He sounded shaken and embarrassed, which was fucking stupid considering all the times he’d woken Paul up with his dreams. But Paul was at heart and in the nicest possible way, an utter hypocrite.

“Stop that, ain’t your fault. Don’t gotta look like that.”

Daryl watched as Paul got his breathing under control, pressing the tips of his thumb and fingers together one after the other in some kind of nervous tick or calming technique.

He hated just sitting around and watching, so Daryl reached over to his pack and got the half bottle of water they had left.

“Paul, you wanna come an’ get some water?” He didn’t want to chance standing up and walking over, not sure if Paul would react well to him looming over him right now. It was always hard to try and guess what things would freak people out again after nightmares.

Daryl placed the bottle down next to him and turned away slightly, routing through his bag again to give Paul the chance to come over without feeling watched and examined. When he felt Paul settle next to him, he turned back to him and held out a single red vine that Tara had given him ages ago.

“Ain’t much but you wan’ it?”

Paul just shook his head and took a drink instead. This close, Daryl could feel the way he was still shaking, though obviously trying to suppress it. It wasn’t often he saw Paul this rattled and he was _not_ a fan. It made him want to track down whatever the hell shook him up so bad and beat the shit out of it.

But all he could do for now was pick up Paul’s coat and slowly, carefully place it over his shoulders, letting his hand rest there lightly for a few minutes.

Daryl could practically feel when the atmosphere changed again, Paul shrugging off his hand and moving away slightly, clearing his throat.

“Well, that sucked. I’m fine now, thanks.”

Bullshit.

“Yeah, don’t try that shit with me Paul. Don’t gotta pretend you’re fine like ya always do. ‘M here.”

Paul looked over at him with shock on his face, like nobody had every called him out on that before. Hell, maybe they hadn’t. Daryl watched as he let out a shaky breath, face twisting slightly before he ducked his head.

“Ya wanna talk about it?”

If Rick could hear him now, he’d drop dead in shock. But Paul had asked the same thing after every single one of Daryl’s nightmares, always accepting when he told him to fuck off at first. But eventually, he did; just little things at first, then more, but all of it beyond what he’d ever told anyone else.

Paul seemed to dither for a minute, body tense as he was thinking it over, before he finally sighed and shifted back over, settling next to Daryl once more. But still he hesitated, almost like he didn’t quite know how to start. Daryl had been like that too, so he took a chance. Sometimes you just needed a question, just _something_ to get you to talk.

“So is it bein’ in here then? Ya been shifty since the door got jammed.”

That got him to look up, like he was still surprised when Daryl noticed things about him, before he nodded.

“Err yeah,” he cleared his throat, voice scratchy. “Don’t like places I can’t get out of. Or the cold. Can usually handle them separately but together...”

“Why?”

From the way he ground his jaw together, all tense again, Daryl knew he was right and there was more to it. With a deep breath, Paul looked away again.

“Okay so, err, you know about the group home thing right? Well I wasn’t always there. Got fostered twice when I was younger. First time was okay for what it was, just a stop between really. But the last time... yeah, that wasn’t so great.”

He’d obviously decided to just throw himself into it, like once he’d started taking he just had to keep going or he’d never get it out. Daryl knew that feeling.

“Was about eleven or twelve I think. Old group home had been shut down for some reason, funding probably, so they just sent us all to whoever would take us. I ended up with some real bastards. There were two other foster kids there and I just knew straight away that it wasn’t a good place to be. Was written all over their faces.”

He trailed off, eyes far away. There was obviously a lot more to the whole situation but Daryl doubted he’d hear it. There was a tension rising inside him, almost not wanting to know, as selfish as that was; he just didn’t know if he could hear about anyone hurting Paul and not want to kill them, to just _do_ something. It was a special kind of hell to just have to listen and know there was nothing he could do to change it.

“Well, long story short, they were pretty big believers of ‘correcting behaviour’. They mixed it up a lot but one of their favourite methods was to lock us in the cellar. Might not sound like much, but that one I hated the most. Being trapped all alone in the dark and the cold, knowing there was nothing you could do or say to get out before they let you.”

Daryl felt a shudder go through Paul, making horrible sweeping guilt flood him. Getting stuck here must have been fucking _horrifying_. It also explained a lot, his hatred of the cold for a start. Though he knew there was no way of knowing before hand, Daryl felt sick over how many times he’d teased Paul for being soft.

“Got kicked out and sent to another group home after a year or so. Starting martial arts classes on the sly makes dragging someone into a cellar a hell of a lot harder.”

“Fuck I hope ya broke their damn arms.”

Paul choked on a surprised laugh. “No, but I did break noses a few times and knock out some teeth.”

“... wish I could go back an’ do a whole lot more.”

Paul sobered up, eyes fond when they met his. “And you know I’d do the same.”

“Good thing we got each other then right?”

Daryl had been expecting a smile, a friendly shove, anything that normally happened when either said something sappy to the other. He didn’t expect to see something like distress on Paul’s face, a tension and unease that seemed to simmer under the surface. He certainly didn’t expect Paul to shove himself off the floor and start pacing, body all sparked full of energy.

“Why do you have to do that? Why do you always do that?”

He seemed almost like he was talking to himself more than Daryl, but he answered anyway, confused and uneasy. “The hell? Do _what_?”

“Be so damn perfect. So nice when I...” he cut himself off with a frustrated noise.

“ _What_?”

Despite trying not to, Daryl could feel himself getting frustrated in return, not knowing what exactly he’d fucked up or why Paul wouldn’t just tell him. He got to his feet too, the sudden tension made it impossible to stay sitting.

“I can be an asshole instead if ya like.”

“Yes! I’d rather you did! Then it wouldn’t hurt so much that I fucking love you!”

Daryl froze. So did Paul. He looked shocked, like he’d blurted it out without meaning to, eyes wide in horror.

“Shit.” Paul rubbed a hand down his face, obviously distressed again. “Daryl, I’m sorry. That wasn’t fair of me to put that on you. If you... if you wanna move out of the trailer, I get it. Just... I don’t want to, to fucking lose you as a friend okay? We can pretend it never happened or whatever, but I don’t want to lose that.”

Daryl couldn’t even speak, emotions and thoughts going crazy as he watched Paul work himself up, pacing all over and refusing to meet his eye.

“Could you just fucking say something, please?”

“Why’d ya never tell me?”

It wasn’t exactly what he’d been meaning to say, but the distressed way Paul had all but begged him to speak made him blurt out the first thing that came into his head.

Paul finally looked at him, eyes sad and hopeless. “Didn’t want to do that to you, or to myself. What would have been the point? Not like it’d go two ways. It’s a tale as old as time; gay guy falls in love with his straight best friend.”

“Wait _what_?” Suddenly, Daryl felt the absurd desire to laugh. “The fuck did ya think I was straight for?”

“You’re not?!” Paul’s jaw might as well have been on the floor.

“No ya fucking idiot! An’ I wish you _had_ said somethin’, coz I’ve been over here thinkin’ the exact same thing! Minus the straight bit.”

“Wait, what?!”

They both stood there, staring at each other with wide eyes, before the true comedy of the situation hit them. Daryl wasn’t sure which of them started laughing first; the tension and emotion of the whole damn night hitting them, before they slumped back to the floor next to each other, Paul wiping at his eyes as his laughter trailed off and they both just breathed.

“So I guess we’re both kind of idiots then huh?” Paul asked at last.

“Looks like.”

That set them both off again.

Though he couldn’t speak for Paul, Daryl was just so full of hope and disbelief and emotion, that he didn’t know what to do with himself. He’d loved Paul for so long now, probably for even longer really, he just didn’t recognise it then, and the thought that the other man felt the same was messing with him.

With a couple more weak chuckles, Paul let himself fall gracefully onto his back, reaching out to tug Daryl’s arm until he did the same, the two of them lying close together and staring up into the dark of the ceiling.

“Okay, let me get this straight, y- no, fuck off Daryl, do _not_ start laughing again I’m being serious!”

“Sorry.”

“Thank you,” Paul cleared his throat, obviously trying to stave off his own laughter from making a reappearance. “So, you’re gay?”

“Yep.”

“And you... love me too?”

“Yep.”

“Well, damn. What a day.”

Paul sounded so surprised, so overwhelmed that it made Daryl’s chest ache; he felt the same way, still half believing this was just some dream, but he didn’t like it whenever Paul let slip something that showed just how shocked he was that people actually cared about him, actually loved him.

Moving his hand over slightly, Daryl felt about until he touched the other man’s hand, taking the smaller one in his own, enjoying the feeling of those strong and slender fingers gripping him tightly in return.

They stayed like that for a while, just letting it all sink in, taking in the fact that their lives were at a crossroads right now. If they let it, if they both didn’t run from it, they’d leave this room with something they’d both been yearning for for so long. And now that Daryl knew what Paul’s hand felt like in his, he didn’t think he could possibly let it go.

“So how come you never told me? That you’re gay I mean. Have you told anyone?”

Paul’s soft voice broke the silence, thumb tracing little circles on Daryl’s skin.

“Just... didn’ know how. Never could’a before, my Pa would’a killed me, sure as shit. An’ then after, jus’ didn’ seem like there were any point. By the time there _was_ , I dunno. Just didn’ have the words then.”

He saw Paul nod out of the corner of his eye, understanding him like always. He heard him take a deep breath, exhaling shakily before squeezing Daryl’s hand again, slowly bringing it up to his mouth to press a gentle kiss on his rough, scarred knuckles.

It was the softest, tenderest thing that anyone had ever done to him.

“I know you know now, but... I want to tell you properly. Not just, you know, shout it at you. Because I do love you Daryl, have for a long time now. I want you to know that, for me, this is serious and I want to be with you. If... if that’s what you want too?”

Daryl felt like his bones were going to vibrate straight through his skin, his body too small to contain his emotions.

“Yeah,” he managed to choke out. “Yeah I want that too. So much.”

Paul turned his head to face him, Daryl doing the same, breath knocked right out of him as he took in the raw happiness and relief he saw on the other man’s face; smile so soft and honest in his joy, like he was getting everything he’d ever wanted.

Hell, maybe he was. Daryl knew that’s how _he_ felt.

“Daryl? Can... can I kiss you?”

God, he wanted that so much, nodding even as he felt his stomach swooping, warring between excitement and terror. It was bizarre how you could want something so badly yet feel the need to turn and run away in fear.

But as Paul slowly moved forward and he felt their lips brush together for the first time, so damn gently, he couldn’t imagine ever trying to do without it. He exhaled shakily when Paul pulled back ever so slightly, giving Daryl a moment, the chance to stop if he wanted to. He didn’t.

Reaching up with his other hand, Daryl stroked his fingers over Paul’s ridiculously soft hair, watching as the other closed his eyes with a sigh. Then Daryl cupped the back of his head and gently pulled him back in, wanting more.

A tiny noise left Paul as they kissed, properly this time, neither worrying now that the other way going to run away. Daryl had never really understood the appeal of kissing before, it always just felt so empty, so meaningless.

But this? This was _everything_.

They kissed until they were breathless, until Daryl felt dizzy with emotions, with the feeling of it. He couldn’t help but grin as they rested their foreheads together, utterly overwhelmed and drunk on having Paul so close, of finally knowing what his lips felt like. It was all so perfect he could hardly think, a lump in his throat and heart pounding a hundred miles an hour.

Paul must have felt similar, if his quiet, breathy “wow” was anything to go by, a huge smile on his face.

So this is what feeling truly happy was like.

With a tug on his arm, Daryl gently pulled and manoeuvred Paul until he was lying on his side next to him, head resting on his chest as Daryl held him close with an arm around his shoulder, Paul’s other hand resting over his heart.

He fit perfectly, like he was always meant to be there. Daryl pressed a kiss to the top of Paul’s head, breathing in the smell of his hair. Even though his heart was still pounding, it wasn’t nerves or anxiety anymore, simply that there were too many feelings for it to contain.

Honestly, Daryl never could have imagined that this would be so easy, so natural. He’d never been the best when it came to emotions and change, always either suppressing things totally or letting it eat him up. But as he felt Paul’s head on his chest, hand gently stroking over his heart, both of them just breathing together, he felt at peace. Something had finally settled in him.

They stayed where they were, just holding each other, talking occasionally. It was just pure peace, his mind finally quiet for once, the uncertain future in front of him no longer terrifying, not if he had Paul there with him. There was hope in Daryl’s heart.

“Hmm, look. Must be morning.” Paul nudged him and pointed at the door, a weak golden light showing under the gap.

“Wan’ me to try it again? Maybe it unstuck. If not, I’m sure we can break it open.” Daryl just hoped it’d open easily, not wanting to see Paul scared again if it wouldn’t.

But Paul didn’t move, he just put his hand back over Daryl’s heart and sighed quietly.

“Daryl? When we get back to Hilltop... what’re we gonna be? I know we want to be with each other but, do you want anyone else to know? Or is it like, a secret or something?”

He sounded hesitant, unsure. Daryl hated when he sounded like that, it was just so far removed from his usual self, and he hated even more that it was because of him. Because he was worried Daryl would want to keep them a secret.

So did he? Daryl thought for a moment, just holding Paul tighter as he did, the other giving him all the time he needed as usual. Yes it’d be scary; the thought of it made him feel flayed open and exposed, an old instinctual fear of being too obvious, too _out_ that just wouldn’t leave him.

But did he really want to keep this a secret? To try and deny something he was so damn happy about? No. It was time.

“I err, don’t wanna make no big deal about it. But no, ain’t gonna keep it a secret. Ya too damn important for me to do that.”

He broke off, heart pounding as his decision finally sunk in.

“‘Bout time I get to be honest right? Better late than never. An’ I’m happy ya know? Got you, got all I wanted really. Don’t want to keep that hidden.”

Paul said nothing for a moment, going still against him. Then he pushed himself up off Daryl’s chest and looked at him, smile huge and eyes bright.

“Good,” he whispered, before leaning down to kiss him stupid.

Yeah, wasn’t anything on this earth that could make him want to keep this a secret. It was too perfect, too special. The very _thought_ that he’d ever be get to be in love was almost ludicrous and the fact that he was loved back, well, that was a damn miracle.

They were so lost in their kiss that they barely even heard the loud click at first, only noticing when a loud creak echoed through the room.

They pulled apart and stared at each other for a second, before slowly turning to look at the door. The very shut, very jammed door that had _somehow_ managed to sort itself out and swing open of it’s own accord.

“Ooookay. That’s a bit weird...”

Paul sat up, arms going up as he stretched and twisted. Like, _really_ twisted. Interesting.

“Daryl?”

“Hmm?” He focused back on Paul’s voice, pointedly ignoring the smirk that was threatening to spread across his face as he turned to look at Daryl.

“I said, are we ready to get out of here then? Though I’m surprisingly glad we got stuck, I can’t pretend to want to be here any longer than I have to.”

Daryl just nodded, dragging himself to his feet with far less grace than the other man, before they began rounding up their things. They’d come back for the boxes of meds in a minute, both just wanting to see the outside world again.

After shrugging his leather duster on, Paul stepped out into the main section of the pharmacy and waited for Daryl, a soft smile on his face.

“What?”

Paul just huffed out a laugh, reaching out to grab Daryl’s hand. “Just can’t believe all that happened really. It’s a Christmas miracle Daryl!”

“Oh shut the fuck up and get outside. Good Lord.”

Paul laughed. “Yep, maybe his doing too! So many nights I sent a little prayer up. I said ‘God, please send me a man with fantastic arms and a heart of gold! And a bike, don’t forget that!’ And look what I got!”

“Oh please stop,” he moaned, face red at Paul’s teasing, the other man leading their way through the pharmacy and looking far too pleased with himself.

“Does this mean I can ask Sarah to make us matching Christmas jumpers like Amy and Bill have?”

“Ya ain’t cute and ya ain’t funny.”

“Totally am and you know it.”

“In fact, I’m changin’ my mind. Don’ want nothin’ to do with ya.”

“Too late, no take backs.”

Daryl couldn’t even help his grin, flipping Paul the bird when Paul crowed in triumph. They both emerged from the pharmacy and stopped in their tracks. The whole place was totally whited out; pure, untouched snow fallen everywhere. It was too damn perfect for the world they lived in now.

But then again, so was Paul. Maybe Daryl should stop looking gift horses in the mouth.

After checking the car was still there, “hmm, guess no handsome ninja’s were around this time.” “Little fuckin’ annoying thieves ya mean.” they began moving the boxes of meds from the back room, taking everything just in case.

It was probably the freest Daryl had ever felt, nobody around but the two of them, laughing and joking in the fresh snow. They gave each other shit like always, but often stopped to kiss as they carried on their work. It just confirmed the idea that nothing between them would change exactly, there’d just be _more_.

And as he got in the car to return home, Paul in the passenger seat next to him, a soft, happy smile on his cold blushed face, Daryl knew it was right. After so many years, so much loss and suffering, he’d finally reached where he was meant to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there we have it folks :D now, I was kinda worried that it’d seem weird that Daryl wasn’t bothered by being locked in there whilst Paul was. I had actually written something in explaining why, but it just didn’t fit so I took it out. Basically, like Paul, he can usually handle one of his triggers at a time. So yeah he was stuck in a room, but he wasn’t alone and wasn’t feeling naked and vulnerable. Paul unfortunatly had both of his get him at once. So that’s why and I hope it didn’t come across as too weird. 
> 
> Let me know if ya liked it, comments are better than any Xmas presents, and there’s just a little chapter to come tomorrow. Curious on your thoughts about how they got locked in though... xxxx


	5. Chapter 5

Even though Daryl and Jesus were meant to be back yesterday, Maggie wasn’t too worried. They were two of the most capable people she knew and they’d probably just got held up somewhere. Still, she couldn’t help but find herself doing jobs near the gate, ready and waiting for their return.

“Heya Maggie, look who I’ve got!”

Maggie turned around, smile already breaking out on her face, heart skipping a beat like always as she saw her beautiful son being carried towards her safe in the arms of Tara. Although she’d struggled at first, clearly not keen on getting so close to another child after what happened to her niece, Tara just didn’t seem to be able to resist the charms of Hershel. He was too much like his father already.

Holding out her arms wide, Maggie gratefully took hold of his perfect little body, so soft and squishy, all but smothered in the toddler clothes and little knitted hat Daryl had found on one of his and Jesus’ runs. They were always bringing things back for the kids, Daryl especially never holding out on spoiling them rotten.

“They still not back yet?”

Maggie stopped pressing raspberries onto Hershel’s chubby little cheeks to look at her friend. “No not yet, but you know them. They’ll be fine an’ come back with more than we sent em out for.”

“Think if we sent them out with a list that just said ‘find your true loves you fucking idiots’ they’d get the idea?”

Maggie just chuckled and rolled her eyes, Tara’s utter exasperation with the two of them never failed to maker her laugh, even if she felt the same way.

“Who knows,” she said with a grin, “Maybe an angel sent them a Christmas miracle or somethin’”

“We live in hope.”

Focusing back on the wriggling child in her arms, Maggie couldn’t help but smile as she watched his perfectly formed little hands grasp at the bits of snow still falling, those familiar eyes wide and shinning in joy as he looked at everything around him.

God he reminded her so much of Glenn. It both hurt her and soothed her every time she caught a glimpse of him in their son, in the wonderful life they’d managed to create together. Glenn should be here for this, he should get to see their son’s excitement when he saw anything new, should get to hear his peels of laughter when someone tickled his little tummy. Maggie could only hope he was still somewhere around, watching them, feeling the love they had for him that would never fade.

Though he was too young to understand it yet, Maggie never stopped telling Hershel all about his daddy. His bedtime stories always involved him in some way; either a child appropriate version of the things he’d done, or by using him as a character in fairy tales.

Maggie would ensure he grew up knowing his dad, hopefully feeling his presence and character even in his absence. She knew the rest of her family contributed to it with their own stories and Aaron had spoken to her of doing the exact same thing with Gracie, never wanting Eric to fade out of existence entirely.

It was so viciously cruel the way such perfect life could be snuffed out in a second. It was such a fucking _waste_ , such a tragedy. She still got so angry sometimes, not managing to purge it from her completely. It was a part of her now just as much as her sorrow and though she tried to keep control of it, sometimes it welled up in her so furiously she wanted to explode.

Jesus always seemed to help her with that. Though he’d never said much about it and she never expected he would, not to her at least, he seemed to understand what that explosive anger was like, knew how it’d eat away at you if you didn’t control it.

Maggie could clearly remember the first time he came to her after she’d lost her temper over something so stupid she couldn’t even recall it now. She’d stormed off to her room and wanted to trash it, just so unbearably angry at everything and everyone. There’d been a knock at the door, Jesus entering before she could even finish shouting at whoever it was to fuck off.

Maggie was ashamed to say she lost her shit at him, just screamed and let loose in a way she hadn’t been able to before. The war had finished about a month earlier, things finally starting to settle as those left living picked themselves up and began to move on. And everything she’d been putting on hold until that point came rushing out of her.

Afterwards, she’d just slumped to the floor and instead of leaving like she fully expected him to, Jesus came and sat next to her in silence. Then he held her as she broke down in sobs so violent she could have sworn she tasted blood, all her pain just being wrenched out of her. She missed Glenn so much it almost tore her in two.

Ever since that particular episode, Jesus started sparring with her. Gently at first, mindful of the fact she’d not long ago given birth; just some light boxing and stretching really. Then he showed her how to meditate, how to do yoga, how to _breathe_. It helped her so much, giving her that little lifeline she needed to keep it together. Jesus saved her from loosing herself to the grief and anger, something she could never thank him enough for and wouldn’t even try, knowing he’d never accept it.

It was just after this that she started to really notice how inseparable Jesus and Daryl had become. It was crystal clear that Jesus had something to do with the way Daryl had finally stopped spiralling down into mindless self destruction, but it was also apparent that Daryl was doing just as much for Jesus, even if it wasn’t as obvious.

Strange how even at the end of the world, you could find the person you were always meant to be with.

And if she and Glenn could get together in the middle of a damn _pharmacy_ , then those two had no excuse. But Maggie had faith, she knew they’d figure it out eventually. Somehow.

“Car’s coming, I think it’s them.”

Maggie looked up at Kal, manning the gates as always, a relieved smile breaking out on her face as he confirmed it was. She stood to the side with Tara and Hershel as the gates opened, the car pulling inside to make unpacking easier. From what she could see through the windows, it looked like they’d found a good haul as always.

They seemed to linger in the car a few moments longer, looking at each other and obviously talking. Maggie wasn’t sure if she was imagining it, but Daryl looked almost _bashful_ ; ducking his head at something Jesus said but not before she caught sight of a soft smile and a nod. Intrigued, she stepped closer to wait for them, smiling in greeting as they finally got out of the car.

“Hello boys, what time do ya call this?”

Jesus all but bounded over, a smile on his face that she’d never seen before. Something was different about him. But he kissed her on the cheek as always and gave Hershel a squeeze.

“Well you wouldn’t believe what happened. But we did manage to get a lot of stuff.”

“Holy shit is that medicine?!” Came Tara’s voice as she helped unload.

“Yep,” grunted Daryl, walking past her and up to them, arms piled high with boxes. “Got almost everythin’ we needed and found a pharmacy. ‘S why we’re late. An’ cover his eyes in a minute, got him some presents.”

“Oh my God Daryl, he won’t even realise what they are, I think it’s safe.”

“Nah, he’s a clever kid, he’ll know.”

Maggie felt her heart melt as Daryl dropped a quick kiss to Hershel’s head when he started babbling after seeing his beloved uncle. She also saw Jesus turn into a pile of pathetic, heart eye’d goo at the sight, eyes following Daryl as he walked off towards to medical trailer.

“So what happened in the pharmacy then?” She asked, watching Jesus reluctantly tear his eyes away.

“It was really weird to be honest. We’d finished scavenging and the weather was turning so we wanted to get back. Daryl saw a little pharmacy though so we decided to check it out.”

He broke off, watching Daryl walk past them again and shooting him a soft smile, which Maggie was shocked to see Daryl return. Okay, something was _definitely_ different. Usually they only looked that sappy and love struck when the other wasn’t looking. Despite the risk of disappointment, Maggie felt her heart speed up.

“And?”

“Hmm? Oh yeah, well the front of the store was pretty empty but we got some stuff. We were gonna leave but I saw a door in the back. We get there, no lock or anything and go inside. There were loads of boxes, some were empty but we actually found all sorts. Wasn’t exactly sure what was useful so we brought all of it.”

“Cover his eyes, I’m comin’ past.”

“Oh for goodness sake.” Chuckling to herself, Maggie turned Hershel away as Daryl hurried past like Santa. The kids really were getting spoiled at this point, but Daryl wouldn’t hear a word of it and no one could deny how lovely it was.

Looking back at Jesus she saw he was, once again, staring at Daryl. For heaven’s sake.

“ _And_?”

“Err, yeah, well we’d just got inside and the door slams shut behind us. Then when we tried to get out, the door wouldn’t open! Was just totally stuck which is weird when it had no lock, but Daryl reckoned it was the cold making it stick. And it was cold! So we-, err, well we had to stay there all night and in the morning after-, erm, yeah, the door just kind of opened.”

There was more, there was _definitely_ more. It was rare to see Jesus look shy or awkward and that last sentence actually brought a blush to his face. Maggie would bet her last damn chocolate bar that there was more to this story.

Oh! Maggie’s breath caught for a second, heart in her throat as she remembered the conversation she’d had with Tara and Aaron the other night. The fact it was a pharmacy...

“Jesus,” she began hesitantly, hoping she wasn’t overstepping but she needed to know. “Did something else happen. With, with you and Daryl?”

Jesus froze for a second, a brief flash of hesitation crossing his face.

“Paul, you comin’?

Then he looked up and saw Daryl, the softest smile she’d ever seen spreading over his face before he turned back to her.

“Yeah, yeah it did.”

Maggie watched with wide eyes, heart pounding as he walked towards Daryl, the other man waiting for him with his own sweet smile. Then she all but gasped as the two of them walked off towards their trailer hand in hand.

“Wait, what the fuck?”

Maggie turned to Tara, the other having rejoined her just in time, her eyes wide before a huge grin broke out over her face. “Oh my God did that just happen?! Did that _really_ just happen?!”

Maggie nodded and choked out a laugh, eyes filling with tears, her heart so happy she felt like it would burst.

“Yeah, it really did.”

And though she couldn’t explain it or prove it, Maggie knew in her heart that Glenn had something to do with it. She just _felt_ it.

Wiping her eyes with one hand, Maggie just looked down at her precious son, pressing her lips to his head.

“Hey Hershey, did I ever tell you what a hopeless romantic your daddy was?”

She started her way up the hill, talking to her son all the way, heart full of love and gratitude. Though her own love story had ended far too soon, Maggie was pleased to see another just beginning. It was about damn time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in posting! But i’ve spent the last few days in various states of drunk, hungover and food coma. Hope this isn’t too weak or cheesy of an ending! It’s up to you guys if you want it to have actually been Glenn or just a weird coincidence, but I personally think it was :) 
> 
> I miss my boy so much, so he damn well best still be around somehow! And I think he’d want Daryl to finally be himself and be happy with someone he loves. If it takes crawling back through death’s arsehole to lock them both in a room till they figure it out, then he damn well would. 
> 
> Hope everyone had a lovely Christmas/holiday/whatever :) let me know what you think, comments fuel my weak little heart xxxx

**Author's Note:**

> The wonderful, talented, generous and ever amazing youremytpayne wanted the old classic, trapped in a closet. I swear this started out short and just kind of grew. Again. Just a little teaser of a chapter first. I hope you all like it, please drop me a comment if you do :) xxxx


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